If dishes could talk...

If dishes could talk…

These would tell of being hand painted in the style Rose Chintz

They would recount being selected by Bernice Hubers, a picture of classic, ageless style, and an appreciator of life’s finer things (just ask Grandpa about the knives she bought on payments with their newlywed budget).

If dishes could talk, this set would share...

Of the time they spent in storage

Of the day Grandma’s best friend had a crazy idea of hosting a Ladies retreat at church and serve tea and lunch on real china.

Of the day Grandma sent her set with Auntie Gayle to be put to work at church

Of the annual retreat that followed giving them a use, wash, admiration, and re-packaging for storage up a zillion steps until the next Feb retreat.

Of the year a junior high school girl started helping with the serving, washing, and dish admiring

(Jan 2019- now ready to serve a 5 course dinner to 12, except they'll have to come in shifts because...seating.)

If dishes could talk, Grandma’s Rose Chintz would tell you...

About my keen interest in the patterns and table setting etiquette

That for my highschool graduation Grandma told me she wanted me to have the dishes when I had a place of my own (and they’d be sure to emphasize that this modern old woman prioritized a place of my own over a husband of my own)

But dishes can’t talk. They can be viewed and used or hidden and stored.

Some have chips and some are broken but these dishes don’t hide anymore. The 81 pieces of beauty take up 1/3 of my kitchen storage space in a 500-sq/ft loft, and they can’t be microwaved. 

And, without speaking, these dishes tell me so much.

They tell the irresponsible 23-year old to use care

They remind a raging millennial to appreciate the classic fine things of life

They re-teach the busy student, socializer, cousin, auntie, granddaughter, niece to sit and enjoy meals

(Saturday breakfast is better savoured...and at noon)

What I love most about these profoundly silent servers is WHO they remind me of.

They remind me of the lady who’d let me drink pop and watch Judge Judy when I walked over after school.

They remind me of garage sale adventures with Grandma and Auntie Gayle. Riding on the immaculate upholstery of Grandma’s vanilla scented Toyota Camry. Listening to the friends discuss deals, kids, jobs, and Jesus. And, of course, buying any cheap China to serve the growing Women’s Retreat crowd.

They don’t let me forget the dearest woman who’d do her very best to screw Grandpa over in a game of cards so we had a better chance of winning.

(May 2018- Anna, Grandma, Corianna, April: the dress-up box was a big hit)

Of the lady who could get any stain out, ironed her husband’s hankies, and still claimed she wasn’t a domestic “Well, you should see his sister-in-laws, they’d cut the meat and pre-chew it for his brothers.”

Of the woman who moved from Iowa to DeMotte to Michigan to North Carolina…with or without a house lined up.

The wife who packed up her house and family with friends and flipped a coin halfway across the country to see who'd get the one available house when they arrived to North Carolina (spoiler alert, it wasn't Bud and Bernice). 

The God-fearing woman with some of my favourite non-curse explicatives

(May 2018- The National Anthem came on and Grandma quickly stood respectfully)

The Grandma who matched our socks and came over to paint the entire kitchen when Mom was fed up with her “flicker” palette…and the teasing that came along with a pink kitchen. And then the next year painted a stubborn 5^th graders “dream bedroom” bright orange and hot pink…and the few years later painted 3 layers of "builder’s beige" to cover up my youth.

(Dec 2017- Grandma didn't want to talk but was filled with wonder and joy after I read her a Bible story)

Bernice Ann Hubers is one hell of a lady who’s inflicted with one hell of a disease. And even though Alzheimer’s has crawled into her brain and memories my Grandma still gives absent minded back rubs, snuggles, comments on my mess of hair, and hums the most beautiful tunes. 

(Jan 2019- I told stories about her punk-ass great grandkids, listened to her hum, and enjoyed a long back rub)

This disease has taken so many of the things I love about Grandma but  I am forever grateful for the memories she gave me. And I am, today, grateful for the dishes she gave me to keep these memories alive.

If dishes could talk, mine would say "Fuck Alzheimer's" but Grandma's would opt for something delightfully entertaining, heartwarming, and appropriate like "Well, doesn't Alzheimer's just make a preacher cuss?"

(May 2018)

Bud and Bernice

I really love my weird and honest grandparents. Glad we're friends and neighbors so I can hear all the bizarre things they say. 

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The insurance company recommended that we put a grab bar in B&B's bathroom next to the toilet. Greg came over one morning to put if up.

***Morning while Greg was graciously installing the bar****

Grandpa: "I don't know why he's doing that. Mark must think we need a bar but really I don't think we need that."

Me: "No, Grandpa, he doesn't the insurance company said you should have it so we're just following their rules."

That evening while combing his hair

Grandpa: "Honey! come here, did you try this? Have a seat on the john and give it a test."

Grandma fully clothed sits on the toilet and grabs the bar to stand up: "Oh that's just MARVELOUS!" sits and stands a few more times "What did we ever do before without this?! Rachel*! come try it out."

It is a pleasant sort of luxury.

*I'm Rachel, Amber, or April on any given day...and have been my entire life :)

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Grandma and I went to have coffee at Amber's. All the kids were nap/reading except Auburn. After Grandma had called Auburn (wearing only a diaper)  HE a few times I asked

A: "Gram, do you think it looks like a boy or a girl?"

Gram: "Well hold on, let me see his face before I say which one."

Amber: "I think you've answered the question already."

April: "She IS a girl."

Gram: "Well of COURSE she's a girl but I must say I think she maybe does look more like a boy."

She's not wrong. We love you Auburn...but you're missing some feminine qualities.

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Getting ready for Bible Study at 9:30 am (on non-planned days Grandma could easily still be sleeping at 9:30)

A: "Do you want these shoes?"

G: "Yeah, that's fine." 

April: hands grandma the slip on shoes that don't need socks so we can save one step.

Grandma tries putting a pair of Grandpas socks on with the small slip on shoes: "Now I used to have small socks to wear with these."

A: looks in closet to find ONE small sock, settles for a pair of socks that are at least her size. "Here are some smaller socks."

G: "Yes! these are what I need."

A: looking at clock wishing socks didn't take so long to put on 84 year old feet.

G: Socks on, reaches for her shoe. Grabs a shoe that has no pair from under the couch instead of the matched set in front of her. 

A: "This one doesn't have a match. Do you want these?" offering yet another pair of shoes waiting by the door

G: "Oh yes! I love those shoes. But I don't think I need socks if I'm wearing these ones." takes off socks puts on her third shoe of the morning 

As the old tale goes: if you try to rush a grandma she'll need socks, when you get her socks she'll try on a different pair of shoes. You'll offer her some other ones and chances are if she likes the third pair, she won't need the socks. But after all that she'll be a delight to enjoy Bible study with.  

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Nathan & Lauren came over to play cards. Nathan was stretching forward a few times and happened to see his wife's cards. 

L: "Would you stop looking at my cards!"

Grandma: "Yeah, you're right. I mean you love him but you don't always want him peaking in your windows."

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Grandpa: Well, I gotta call that guy about my mustang"

April: "Grandpa, you can't sell that until I get married so I can use that as my get-away car."

Grandpa: "Well then you better promise you'll get married in the next year or two."

A: "Go ahead and sell the car"

G: "No, you better advertise yourself in the paper or on that internet. I don't know what we're going to do with you Amber."

At least it's Amber who he's suggesting prostitutes herself out and not April...there are benefits to having 4 sisters with the same first initial.

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April: fake smile at something

Grandma: "You know you can have such a  pretty and big smile but sometimes you can just look so prutz." 

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I stopped by G&G before going to bed. 

Grandpa: "We can't let Grandma watch the Democratic news anymore. Last night when we got in bed she told me that she might vote there because they were making sense."

This could be stressful for the pair. They've made it through 60 years of marriage and raised 4 boys but the prospect of Grandma agreeing with the National Democratic Convention was more than he could handle.

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Adulting

Let's start this off by saying that I live with my parents, don't pay for insurance on my body, car, house, or things. I don't pay rent or utilities and I still sometimes turn in grocery receipts to my mom so she'll pay me back. I go to a sibling's house if I'm home alone for too long after, I ask my mom to switch my laundry so I can go to bed and have clean pants to wear in the morning. I cook for myself about 4 times a week and eat moms leftovers about 10 times. I like to watch TV with my dad before we go to bed and need him to turn the fireplace on for me. I can do almost nothing without telling someone about it and being rewarded with a smile, chuckle, eye roll, or compliment. I love Justin Bieber's new song. I've worked at this job since May(ish, I think) and just made a budget for myself last week. I have a bedroom in the basement.
I am by no means an independent adult. I'm 20 and rely on my family for most things.

That being said, I love my job and my work and feeling like a grown up. Which has led to create Top 5 times (in no order) I've killed being a grown up at work:

1) The time an elderly man came in for the fourth time asking the same question about a letter we sent to IN-DOR but are waiting for a response. I told him not to worry about it. and was very kind. He smiled and told me "wow, well thank you very much. You are very persuasive. I won't worry about it because I trust you. Thank you."

1.5) The time I wrote IN-DOR (Indiana Department of Revenue) in a blog post like it was whatever.

2) Once when I had to ask Stan "Is the limit for farmers depreciation, section 179, still $25,000 or was it renewed for half a million?" Still no clue what it meant but I crushed that question harder than I've crushed on boys with great families and smiles.

3) Anytime I have to notarize something. Because my signature and seal have the power to say you are who you say you are. Also, I have a seal with my name on it.

4) When people call and ask for me but I'm at lunch so Ryan has to take a message for me. Even better when I call them back and they say "that boy maybe could have helped me but I don't think he knew." Because 'that boy' is older than me, has a degree for this and an office and they wanted me.

5) When I can recognize Jenifer from the bank's voice just from her saying "Mark isn't in?" and the fact that I have her extension memorized.

The big 03!

I'm honor of Corianna's birthday Sunday here are some stories I've been compiling for a few months. 

12-19-14 Looking at Christmas lights I kept saying "what in the world" or "how amazing" Corianna yelled when we turned the corner "what amazing!"

Any coins she finds she puts in her shoe cause so many pants don't have pockets. She uses quarters whenever there's a gum ball or action figure machine. I'd told her before walking into the restaurant that we would find a gum ball machine so she could use a quarter. She spotted the bouncy ball pinball machine right away and sat down to get out her quarter from the bottom of her boot.

We were going to Rensselaer and she asked me three times where we were going. "CORIANNA! We are going to Rensselaer." "Oh, Rensultucky?"

Playing with John downstairs and she came running up in just a diaper "look parents! Look parents!" 

I've trained her to credit me for her intelligence. "How did you get so smart?" "My auntie April". It backfired when she started saying that to everything. "Who made you so sassy?" "Who let you be such a brat?" "Who filled your mouth with whipped cream?" She's very quickly tarnishing my name and giving away our secrets with one precious answer "my auntie April"

"Raegan did it." This is also an acceptable answer to any question. "Who ate all the cheesy potatoes?" "Raegan did it" who peed on the floor?" "Raegan did it" "who peed in YOUR pants, Corianna?" "Raegan did it"

"Maybe I'll turn into a teenager and I'll become a teacher and I'll teach Liam how to say Oma." *after telling her not to say 'no' so often because Liam has started saying it very dramatic and appropriately*

She can fake sleep. Like REALLY well, tickling will hardly break her show. 

She thinks goldilocks and the three dinosaurs is the best book ever, I'm pretty sure it's because I love it so much. Everytime she picks it she smiles proudly at me looking for a response.

After spending a weekend with 5 extra kids in February: "May please have the chips. May I please have the chips. May I please have the chips." *Stands up to reach the chips herself.*

She thinks friends and cousins mean the same thing, which I sort of get. 

In her prayer one night: "and thank you for my cousin Raegan and my cousin Elizabeth and her new baby sister" 

(Corianna and Elizabeth, friends not cousins, showing their strength)

She cuddles at night by pulling my face really close to hers, playing with my hair while I play with hers and smiling at me from behind her paci. 

A few nights ago she hugged my neck so tight and told me I couldn't leave because she loved me too much. Needless to say she got a few extra stories before we fell asleep together. 

She plays 'go to college'

With her parents building and my love of houses she was bound to pick up on some things but surprised me with how much while we drove through a subdivision and she said "wow, nice front porch, my Papa is building me one of those at my new house".  She smells their ceder posts and identified the deck wood as pine after a few wiffs. 

She'll ask a question about something we just did or I just explained. When I make her answer herself she repeats the exact words I used to explain it to her and gives me her best "be proud of me" smile.

Bus driver! open the door!!! Yes she can do this and chubby's motorcycle ride by pushing her cheeks together. 

Every night we make sandwiches for our papas and she knows just how to put the meat on and is learning the secrets of the trade (lettuce and pickles BETWEEN meet and cheese so the bread doesn't get soggy)

"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "A teacher" big cheesy smile...better change that to "an underpaid secretary at a local tax office."

She makes the same face as me and we have the same eyes, you're welcome babe. 

"Your life is going to be so sad when you have no kids" after getting defensive and telling her life can be happy without kids and that serving God is most important. I realized she was referring to when their house is finished and she moves out. My life will be so sad with not kids living at mom and dads. 

For two weeks whenever anyone asked what she wanted for her birthday she got the biggest smile and gave the lofty request "I want a brown cake with pink frosting and candles" mom went above and beyond and added sprinkles, so worth it for the amount of times she's told people "Liam, Oma made me me a cake for my birthday with frosting and candles and sprinkles!! Because I am three and I am a big girl"

For her birthday we got her 51 pip squiks (a marker by crayola that we refer to as pip squiks to help make her more funny). Right after opening them I got pretty into organizing them by color. All the grown ups made fun of me for not letting Corianna play with her own gift.

 Today she asked if I would play with her pip squiks again. I took them and a coloring book out so we could use the colors. "No, will you please just order them with me?" Take that grown ups!

Happy birthday Cornybanana, I love you to the moon and back. 

Thursday night

I'll just go to Tysen's, it's on the way and I only need a couple things. Surely nobody I know will be there on a Thursday night.

3 DMC teachers and a teacher spouse later I made it out with a near exploding bladder and my two items. 

Thanks DeMotte. 

Children's literature

It's a shower day and I've been putting it off since last night so it's time. Hannah has night class, Ellie's at work, and Val is going to dinner with Nick so now is the time. On her way out I told Val "I'll be reading Fault In Our Stars until you get back"

"Do you have to read it for fun or class?"

"Yes. My question to you is why can't class be fun?"

But seriously this children's Literature class is fun. 

April 21

When Amber told me her due date was April 7 I dreamed she would make it to the 21st.
Her midwife told her mid-pregnancy that the 15th seemed more accurate.
God smiled down on me and with a laugh at my sister's discomfort made her wait two weeks after I skipped class for the baby. Those two weeks brought us to April 21st and my sweet new nephew. William Painter Green V is 19 years and 4 hours younger than me and I love him so very much.
My birthday was spent with Angela, Jenna, Corianna, and Nathan recording cheers for Amber's delivery. I had cheesecake with Josh and Katie and Grandma and Grandpa and before I had to go back to school I got to help my sweet little boy come into the world, smell his placenta head, rub his vernix toes, and kiss his perfect cheeks.
What a wonderful birthday and a wonderful boy. Now he's two months and smiling all the time. Today when we made a lot of noise he started making noise to keep up.
Every time a niece or nephew of mine is born I think they are the most loved baby in the world. Liam seems to fit the trend. I don't know how we can keep loving babies more and more but by George it happens; and as the new babies come they are loved by the older babies. No wonder I'm so awesome, I had all my parents' love AND all six siblings.

Welcome to the world Liam, just a couple months late.