I really love my weird and honest grandparents. Glad we're friends and neighbors so I can hear all the bizarre things they say.
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***Morning while Greg was graciously installing the bar****
Grandpa: "I don't know why he's doing that. Mark must think we need a bar but really I don't think we need that."
Me: "No, Grandpa, he doesn't the insurance company said you should have it so we're just following their rules."
That evening while combing his hair
Grandpa: "Honey! come here, did you try this? Have a seat on the john and give it a test."
Grandma fully clothed sits on the toilet and grabs the bar to stand up: "Oh that's just MARVELOUS!" sits and stands a few more times "What did we ever do before without this?! Rachel*! come try it out."
It is a pleasant sort of luxury.
*I'm Rachel, Amber, or April on any given day...and have been my entire life :)
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Grandma and I went to have coffee at Amber's. All the kids were nap/reading except Auburn. After Grandma had called Auburn (wearing only a diaper) HE a few times I asked
A: "Gram, do you think it looks like a boy or a girl?"
Gram: "Well hold on, let me see his face before I say which one."
Amber: "I think you've answered the question already."
April: "She IS a girl."
Gram: "Well of COURSE she's a girl but I must say I think she maybe does look more like a boy."
She's not wrong. We love you Auburn...but you're missing some feminine qualities.
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Getting ready for Bible Study at 9:30 am (on non-planned days Grandma could easily still be sleeping at 9:30)
A: "Do you want these shoes?"
G: "Yeah, that's fine."
April: hands grandma the slip on shoes that don't need socks so we can save one step.
Grandma tries putting a pair of Grandpas socks on with the small slip on shoes: "Now I used to have small socks to wear with these."
A: looks in closet to find ONE small sock, settles for a pair of socks that are at least her size. "Here are some smaller socks."
G: "Yes! these are what I need."
A: looking at clock wishing socks didn't take so long to put on 84 year old feet.
G: Socks on, reaches for her shoe. Grabs a shoe that has no pair from under the couch instead of the matched set in front of her.
A: "This one doesn't have a match. Do you want these?" offering yet another pair of shoes waiting by the door
G: "Oh yes! I love those shoes. But I don't think I need socks if I'm wearing these ones." takes off socks puts on her third shoe of the morning
As the old tale goes: if you try to rush a grandma she'll need socks, when you get her socks she'll try on a different pair of shoes. You'll offer her some other ones and chances are if she likes the third pair, she won't need the socks. But after all that she'll be a delight to enjoy Bible study with.
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Nathan & Lauren came over to play cards. Nathan was stretching forward a few times and happened to see his wife's cards.
L: "Would you stop looking at my cards!"
Grandma: "Yeah, you're right. I mean you love him but you don't always want him peaking in your windows."
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Grandpa: Well, I gotta call that guy about my mustang"
April: "Grandpa, you can't sell that until I get married so I can use that as my get-away car."
Grandpa: "Well then you better promise you'll get married in the next year or two."
A: "Go ahead and sell the car"
G: "No, you better advertise yourself in the paper or on that internet. I don't know what we're going to do with you Amber."
At least it's Amber who he's suggesting prostitutes herself out and not April...there are benefits to having 4 sisters with the same first initial.
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April: fake smile at something
Grandma: "You know you can have such a pretty and big smile but sometimes you can just look so prutz."
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I stopped by G&G before going to bed.
Grandpa: "We can't let Grandma watch the Democratic news anymore. Last night when we got in bed she told me that she might vote there because they were making sense."
This could be stressful for the pair. They've made it through 60 years of marriage and raised 4 boys but the prospect of Grandma agreeing with the National Democratic Convention was more than he could handle.
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